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Proof of Why I’m Awesome

September 28, 2011

I don’t really have much to say with this post, other than to write about a brief moment of bad-assery I found myself in about 2 hours ago. I was driving home from school, and I was pulling up to the sector of my apartment complex where my parking space is located under a carport. The neighbors on my right hand side had brilliantly decided they would park their freaking U-Haul truck right in front of my space.There was still space for cars to get passed, but it didn’t really do me any good, because my spot was right there, directly opposite of the truck. I usually have to make a wide turn to get into my spot, (because if you know my truck, you know I have a full size F-150 truck with a looong tail), but I couldn’t do that at the moment because the moving truck was blocking the space that I use to make the turn. I could move into my spot, but it was at a weird angle. I didn’t have enough space to maneuver my truck straight into the spot.

So I reversed, and I waited for a couple of minutes, in the vain hope that I would get the neighbors attention so they could see I was trying to get into my spot so they could move the truck. They came out of the apartment, didn’t make any effort to move the truck, and instead proceeded on lifting a couch to the back of the moving van. I wanted to go inside already, and I resolved to just look for a free spot elsewhere, then return when the truck had moved. As I was moving my truck to look for another spot, something inside me just clicked. Suddenly, I just had this urge to prove to myself that I could actually put my truck in my spot with the U-haul behind me.

My parking space is narrow, made even narrower by the fact that it has a fucking support beam on the passenger side that barely gives me room to open the door (depending on how I park, to be fair), so with this and the Lexus in the left parking space, and the Toyota in the right space sandwiching my open space in mind, I began to slowly angle my way into my spot. I drove forward, was almost going to clip to the Lexus, reversed out, was almost going to hit the U-haul truck, went forward again turning my steering wheel to the right, reversed then turned my wheel to the left to turn my car right, drove forward, almost hit the Toyota with my front bumper..etc. My waltz with the parking spot, the parked cars, and U-haul truck went on like this for a couple of minutes. It reminded me of that scene in the first Austin Powers movie, where Austin is trying to reverse the tram out of a narrow spot, and gets stuck trying to reverse and drive forward. I continued to reverse, drive forward, pulling up to the spot at weird angles,reversing at even weirder angles so I wouldn’t hit the Lexus on the left, and finally! managed to pull into the spot straight, and within the lines mind you. Triumphant, I turned off my truck, got my backpack, and yelled “SCREW YOU, NEIGHBORS WITH YOUR F-ING TRUCK BLOCKING ME! THAT’S THE WAY JESUS ROLLS!”  inside my head. Victorious, I walked to my apartment, and went inside.

Moral of the story? you can accomplish
anything with determination. Also, I am one bad ass motherf****r.

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