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February 14, 2012

So today is Valentine’s Day. If you’re lucky enough to be spending it with someone, good for you. Enjoy it, just don’t be a douche about it by rubbing it in your single friends, coworkers, pets collective faces. If however, you’re going to be spending the day single as I am, don’t worry about it. It’s not the end of the world that we don’t have dates. There’s always next year. (And if still doesn’t seem like it’s going to happen, call girls and gigolos are always an option.)  I’m going to make this post brief, as I will write a separate V Day post later on. If you remember from last year’s post,, (or if you’re visiting the site for the first time..and if you are, welcome!) , about four years ago, I had been thinking about all of the weird Valentine’s Day cards that I’ve encountered when I was a kid and even some I’ve seen recently.

These are usually the store bought kind, with 30 something cards with envelopes inside a cardboard box, you know which ones I’m talking about. They’re usually cartoon related, with Hello Kitty, Transformers, movie tie-ins or whatever. More often than not, it’s usually just “be mine, valentine” “happy valentine’s day” or some other crap with hardly any thought put into the writing on the card.

<—Actual store bought card. See what I mean? Like seriously what the F are the ‘surprises’ this card is trying to promote? These are the cards kids buy to give to their classmates?? Fuck these store bought cards!

But, I’m digressing. So anyways, I had come up with an idea 4 years ago to make my own valentine’s cards for movies that wouldn’t normally have cards, or put our own cracked twist on the cards if they did.  Finally! after several years of stalls and setbacks, Tabrias and I completed our first set of Valentines, and here they are after the jump. Feel free to print them out, give them out to your friends and significant others, and post them to other sites, just be cool and give the website (werewolves should be hairy, or me Jesus @ werewolves should be hairy) credit where credit is due all right?  Plagiarism is whack! The following images are parody cards.

So first I thought I would use romantic movies for the cards or Disney movies. Bingo! Beauty and the Beast! But I thought against it, because as this card says:

In the end, I just decided to go with random movies. Hope you enjoy! Viewer discretion advised..some of the cards are out there.

Sweet and actually kind of romantic cards:


For the bro in your life:

Funny and kinda/sorta romantic cards that are dark:

Cards that are darker than the ones before:

Topical card:

Finally, a next day missed holiday card: 

Lastly, a card for you guys, the reader: 

Hope your Valentines 2012 was a good one. If you have any ideas (movies,video games, tv shows) that you would like to see cards of next year, suggest them in the comments. 🙂

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